Sohn Kitae (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
protension) wrote2016-10-06 10:57 pm
protension) wrote2016-10-06 10:57 pm
(no subject)
Kim Eunseo was not an impressive woman in stature. She was not a particularly beautiful woman either, though her regular, well spaced features gave her a certain inoffensive charm that made her nice enough to look at. In high school she hadn't received particularly high marks, but she did well enough in her college entrance exams to get into a nice enough school. She had gotten a low level company job, and was able to live comfortably in Seoul.
Eunseo never attracted much male attention, so it came as a shock to her when a fellow employee, Sohn Hoseong, had asked her on a date. The relationship moved quickly, and for the most part involved Hoseong dragging her to places he wanted to go to, bragging about his own accomplishments, and using Eunseo as a way to prop up his own ego. He was not a handsome man, if anything he was a bit ugly, and his sense of self worth didn't necessarily match up to reality. But he was the only man that ever seemed to take interest in Eunseo, and rather than face a life of loneliness Eunseo had accepted his marriage proposal.
Perhaps too soon, because just two years into their loveless marriage Eunseo met Lee Jihu. He was tall, handsome, clever, everything Hoseong was not, and more important he took interest in what Eunseo had to say. He would agree with her thoughts on politics, and listen to her frustrations with her day. Eunseo wasn't sure if it was love, but it was the closest thing she ever felt to it, so when she realized she was carrying his child inside of her she was both excited and terrified.
Jihu was young, and hadn't served his mandatory military time yet, but he promised Eunseo that he would come back for her. If she stayed with Hoseong for a couple of years he would come back for her and her son, and take them away from an increasingly volatile Hoseong.
But he never came back. Even after his service was finished Eunseo found that none of the contact information she had for him worked anymore. He had abandoned her and their baby boy, Kitae, and that realization left Eunseo feeling cold and hollow.
She did her best to convince Hoseong that the boy was really his son, but as her little boy grew up it became increasingly obvious that there was not an ounce of Hoseong in him. The only thing that they shared was a family name, and as Hoseong's suspicions grew he began to resent that the boy had even that. He turned to alcohol to deal with his emotions, and only became worse the older Kitae got.
Eunseo also did her best to care and love for Kitae. Hoseong would yell at him and berate him for being in the way, and he would run to his room and hide under his blankets until Eunseo came in to peel the blankets back and pet his hair. Her voice was not beautiful, but she would sing him silly lullabies and gently wipe the tears off his cheek until he drifted off into a peaceful sleep while curled up in her lap, a small, worn plush cat (named Whiskers) clutched loosely in his little hands. She didn't know the first thing about being a mother, but she poured her love onto Kitae, even though it hurt to see more and more of Jihu in him as the years rolled by.
One day she even told Kitae about Jihu, pulling out a picture of his real father, and making him promise to never mention this to Hoseong. It had broken her heart to see how quickly Kitae took to the idea, the hope that flickered across his face, and she knew what he was thinking, she still hadn't been able to fully let go of that hope herself.
But Lee Jihu would never come back for either of them. It had been ten years since he left her pregnant, and she logically knew that he had either forgotten about her, or did not really care.
She never knew who began to pull back first either... her or Kitae. All she knew was that one day when her son was thirteen, she had snuck into the kitchen after making sure the cost was clear of Hoseong, and almost ducked back around the corner at the sight of her son. She had always been a meek woman, but years of living with Hoseong had made her more timid and reluctant to deal with him, or anyone else in the world. She'd quit her job years ago when she had gotten pregnant with Kitae, and had never found another one, and most of her days she spent inside the (mostly) safe walls of her house.
Safe except for the unpredictable alcoholic she lived with, and the teenage boy who had changed so much from the soft boy he used to be. Kitae had grown bitter and caustic, and as he looked up at her from the kitchen table she could see in his eyes how resentful he was of the fact that his mother has encroached on his space. All he had to say to her was "Did you need something?" in a bored tone that suggested he wanted her to leave as quickly as possible, for Eunseo to know that the little boy that she had loved and cared for had turned into someone she no longer knew.
She didn't know how to deal with the man Kitae was becoming, so instead of trying to reach out to him she shrank back so he could not hurt her.
Not that her attempts at self-preservation worked. Every time Kitae looked at her like he'd sooner have her disappear she felt a lump grow larger in her throat, and whenever she tried to speak to her son he sounded angry that she was bothering him with such idiotic questions. It hurt her deeply, but she didn't know what to do in order to reestablish her bond.
Despite the emotional strain that dealing with Kitae put on her, Eunseo never stopped loving her little boy. He had grown tall, like his father, and handsome in his own way. He had enough of her in his face that it curbed many of Jihu's features, but not enough for Hoseong to be able to acknowledge the boy as his own. He was smart too, the grades he brought home were incredible, and his teacher's always spoke heavy praise of his conduct in school as well. He worked various part time jobs while still in school as well, and his determination at such a young age impressed her. While she wasn't sure what to feel about his two friends, he seemed happy when she saw him with them, and all she wanted was happiness for her estranged son. She knew he was going to go far, and she was so proud of him.
So when he suddenly disappeared one day Eunseo's heart shattered.
Kitae had always been prone to disappearing for a day or two, but never for a full week. Hoseong ignored her panic, and even mocked her for it. Eunseo spent so much time avoiding social interactions with the people she lived with that her sudden constant questioning about Kitae's well being was jarring for him, as well as irritating. He would get angry and scream at her, and even threw her phone against a wall hard enough to break it when he learned she'd finally filed a missing person's report for Kitae.
As awful as his yelling was, for once something more pressing weighed down on Eunseo's mind. Where was Kitae? Why was he not coming home?
A month passed, then two, three... four.... five... a year... two years.
During that entire two years Eunseo had not shed a single tear for her son. She was constantly anxious and jumpier than usual, but she hadn't been willing to accept that Kitae wasn't coming back. It wasn't until she was in his room looking through his things that it finally hit her. Shoved behind his bed in an old, dusty box was Whiskers. He was threadbare, and hadn't been touched for many years even before Kitae's disappearance, but as Eunseo held the little cat in her hands she could picture the days when Kitae was little and would never let the toy leave his side.
Eunseo broke down completely. Two years worth of suppressed tears came flooding out of her small body, and she held Whiskers close to her the way Kitae used to whenever Hoseong had made some particularly biting comments to the boy.
That night Eunseo packed a light suitcase with some of her clothing, toiletries, and Kitae's old stuffed animal, and took the first train she could out of Seoul.
Her son was gone, and he was never coming back. It was time she left too.
Eunseo never attracted much male attention, so it came as a shock to her when a fellow employee, Sohn Hoseong, had asked her on a date. The relationship moved quickly, and for the most part involved Hoseong dragging her to places he wanted to go to, bragging about his own accomplishments, and using Eunseo as a way to prop up his own ego. He was not a handsome man, if anything he was a bit ugly, and his sense of self worth didn't necessarily match up to reality. But he was the only man that ever seemed to take interest in Eunseo, and rather than face a life of loneliness Eunseo had accepted his marriage proposal.
Perhaps too soon, because just two years into their loveless marriage Eunseo met Lee Jihu. He was tall, handsome, clever, everything Hoseong was not, and more important he took interest in what Eunseo had to say. He would agree with her thoughts on politics, and listen to her frustrations with her day. Eunseo wasn't sure if it was love, but it was the closest thing she ever felt to it, so when she realized she was carrying his child inside of her she was both excited and terrified.
Jihu was young, and hadn't served his mandatory military time yet, but he promised Eunseo that he would come back for her. If she stayed with Hoseong for a couple of years he would come back for her and her son, and take them away from an increasingly volatile Hoseong.
But he never came back. Even after his service was finished Eunseo found that none of the contact information she had for him worked anymore. He had abandoned her and their baby boy, Kitae, and that realization left Eunseo feeling cold and hollow.
She did her best to convince Hoseong that the boy was really his son, but as her little boy grew up it became increasingly obvious that there was not an ounce of Hoseong in him. The only thing that they shared was a family name, and as Hoseong's suspicions grew he began to resent that the boy had even that. He turned to alcohol to deal with his emotions, and only became worse the older Kitae got.
Eunseo also did her best to care and love for Kitae. Hoseong would yell at him and berate him for being in the way, and he would run to his room and hide under his blankets until Eunseo came in to peel the blankets back and pet his hair. Her voice was not beautiful, but she would sing him silly lullabies and gently wipe the tears off his cheek until he drifted off into a peaceful sleep while curled up in her lap, a small, worn plush cat (named Whiskers) clutched loosely in his little hands. She didn't know the first thing about being a mother, but she poured her love onto Kitae, even though it hurt to see more and more of Jihu in him as the years rolled by.
One day she even told Kitae about Jihu, pulling out a picture of his real father, and making him promise to never mention this to Hoseong. It had broken her heart to see how quickly Kitae took to the idea, the hope that flickered across his face, and she knew what he was thinking, she still hadn't been able to fully let go of that hope herself.
But Lee Jihu would never come back for either of them. It had been ten years since he left her pregnant, and she logically knew that he had either forgotten about her, or did not really care.
She never knew who began to pull back first either... her or Kitae. All she knew was that one day when her son was thirteen, she had snuck into the kitchen after making sure the cost was clear of Hoseong, and almost ducked back around the corner at the sight of her son. She had always been a meek woman, but years of living with Hoseong had made her more timid and reluctant to deal with him, or anyone else in the world. She'd quit her job years ago when she had gotten pregnant with Kitae, and had never found another one, and most of her days she spent inside the (mostly) safe walls of her house.
Safe except for the unpredictable alcoholic she lived with, and the teenage boy who had changed so much from the soft boy he used to be. Kitae had grown bitter and caustic, and as he looked up at her from the kitchen table she could see in his eyes how resentful he was of the fact that his mother has encroached on his space. All he had to say to her was "Did you need something?" in a bored tone that suggested he wanted her to leave as quickly as possible, for Eunseo to know that the little boy that she had loved and cared for had turned into someone she no longer knew.
She didn't know how to deal with the man Kitae was becoming, so instead of trying to reach out to him she shrank back so he could not hurt her.
Not that her attempts at self-preservation worked. Every time Kitae looked at her like he'd sooner have her disappear she felt a lump grow larger in her throat, and whenever she tried to speak to her son he sounded angry that she was bothering him with such idiotic questions. It hurt her deeply, but she didn't know what to do in order to reestablish her bond.
Despite the emotional strain that dealing with Kitae put on her, Eunseo never stopped loving her little boy. He had grown tall, like his father, and handsome in his own way. He had enough of her in his face that it curbed many of Jihu's features, but not enough for Hoseong to be able to acknowledge the boy as his own. He was smart too, the grades he brought home were incredible, and his teacher's always spoke heavy praise of his conduct in school as well. He worked various part time jobs while still in school as well, and his determination at such a young age impressed her. While she wasn't sure what to feel about his two friends, he seemed happy when she saw him with them, and all she wanted was happiness for her estranged son. She knew he was going to go far, and she was so proud of him.
So when he suddenly disappeared one day Eunseo's heart shattered.
Kitae had always been prone to disappearing for a day or two, but never for a full week. Hoseong ignored her panic, and even mocked her for it. Eunseo spent so much time avoiding social interactions with the people she lived with that her sudden constant questioning about Kitae's well being was jarring for him, as well as irritating. He would get angry and scream at her, and even threw her phone against a wall hard enough to break it when he learned she'd finally filed a missing person's report for Kitae.
As awful as his yelling was, for once something more pressing weighed down on Eunseo's mind. Where was Kitae? Why was he not coming home?
A month passed, then two, three... four.... five... a year... two years.
During that entire two years Eunseo had not shed a single tear for her son. She was constantly anxious and jumpier than usual, but she hadn't been willing to accept that Kitae wasn't coming back. It wasn't until she was in his room looking through his things that it finally hit her. Shoved behind his bed in an old, dusty box was Whiskers. He was threadbare, and hadn't been touched for many years even before Kitae's disappearance, but as Eunseo held the little cat in her hands she could picture the days when Kitae was little and would never let the toy leave his side.
Eunseo broke down completely. Two years worth of suppressed tears came flooding out of her small body, and she held Whiskers close to her the way Kitae used to whenever Hoseong had made some particularly biting comments to the boy.
That night Eunseo packed a light suitcase with some of her clothing, toiletries, and Kitae's old stuffed animal, and took the first train she could out of Seoul.
Her son was gone, and he was never coming back. It was time she left too.